Morning People Suck
I need to kill some time till my next break. I absolutely abhor working mornings. Some of the people drive me absolutly nucking futs. It will take a lot of begging to ever get me to work in the mornings again. If I hear one more fucking cheesy joke im gonna kill some people. So I went to bed around 4 something in the A.M. and woke up at 7:35am , showered and dressed, and drove 85 miles an hour in morning traffic. I then logged in at exactly 8:00am, right on time. I should be a NASCAR driver. Everyone is making New years resolutions, so I suppose I need one too. My new years resolution is to have sex atleast once a day every single day, starting tommorrow of course. well, maybe 5 days a week would be more plausible. On christmas day I swore to my wife that we were going to have sex seven times in our two days off.... know how many times we had sex? one time.... It wasn't all my fault though. We had to go do the whole christmas thing and visit with relatives that came to town. We were just too fucking tired. Sounds pretty lame huh? It is really lame, that one time was just a quickie, you know how those are... she was just there looking at her watch the whole time.... It is hard for someone that does get laid on a regular basis to have a "quickie". I have no problems with discussing this either to all of you women... because men do it to. I have had sex many times with different women when all I was thinking was " jesus christ, hurry the fuck up so I can go eat some Fritos." For the record, oral sex counts towards my atleast once a day every day goal.....
I get a break in seven minutes.
Since I cannot think about anything to write about I asked a co-worker what I should write about, she said anal sex (we all know who that is). I don't know what all I could write about anal sex other than girls that love anal sex make this world a better place. Thats really all I have to say on that matter.
I already wrote a post about my self diagnosed obsessive compulsive disorder with germs ( http://fromthemouthofmadness.blogspot.com/2005/11/obsession.html ). Since I just need to kill a few more minutes, im going to write about a few more strange things that I do. I absolutely will not use a public restroom that only has a air dryer instead of towels. Why is that you may ask? When I wash my hands I dry my hands with a paper towel, then I use the towel to turn the water off. After I walk out of the restroom I use antiseptic hand gel. My wife's mother bought a house out in the country but was only home maybe a couple of days every other month. We got to live there without paying rent, but we eventually moved because my wife's nephews would come over when their grandma was in town. I could not stand watching two dirty kids running around the house putting their hands all over every thing, technically it was not my house, so who the fuck was I to say anything... I don't know if this is part of my germ thing, but I know that I think about it more than others, when someone blows their nose. Do that shit in private. It is so fucking nasty. I have had to listen to it all fucking week at work. It makes my skin crawl. It drives me nuts when someone sneezes, and then they do not go wash their hands. If I go to the bathroom at someones house after they were just in there, I check to see if the sink is wet, so that I will know that they washed their hands. This is just the tip of the iceburg. I promise though, for those who do not know me, that you would not notice any of the things that I do, so technically I cannot be considered strange for that reason.
I get a break in seven minutes.
Since I cannot think about anything to write about I asked a co-worker what I should write about, she said anal sex (we all know who that is). I don't know what all I could write about anal sex other than girls that love anal sex make this world a better place. Thats really all I have to say on that matter.
I already wrote a post about my self diagnosed obsessive compulsive disorder with germs ( http://fromthemouthofmadness.blogspot.com/2005/11/obsession.html ). Since I just need to kill a few more minutes, im going to write about a few more strange things that I do. I absolutely will not use a public restroom that only has a air dryer instead of towels. Why is that you may ask? When I wash my hands I dry my hands with a paper towel, then I use the towel to turn the water off. After I walk out of the restroom I use antiseptic hand gel. My wife's mother bought a house out in the country but was only home maybe a couple of days every other month. We got to live there without paying rent, but we eventually moved because my wife's nephews would come over when their grandma was in town. I could not stand watching two dirty kids running around the house putting their hands all over every thing, technically it was not my house, so who the fuck was I to say anything... I don't know if this is part of my germ thing, but I know that I think about it more than others, when someone blows their nose. Do that shit in private. It is so fucking nasty. I have had to listen to it all fucking week at work. It makes my skin crawl. It drives me nuts when someone sneezes, and then they do not go wash their hands. If I go to the bathroom at someones house after they were just in there, I check to see if the sink is wet, so that I will know that they washed their hands. This is just the tip of the iceburg. I promise though, for those who do not know me, that you would not notice any of the things that I do, so technically I cannot be considered strange for that reason.
im sick and i am so gonna lick ur keyboard and mouse tomorrow...
Posted by
Anonymous |
2:25 PM
Ok.... isabel, atleast you did not type issuez, g. jr, atleast I own a ford. aty, im not even going to ask why you are always talking about licking my stuff, you know im happily married right? and it is aty, not adi, quit mispelling your name.
Posted by
wiseguy563 |
3:59 PM
this may sound cliche, but, cole, i wouldnt hook up with u even if you were the last man on earth...i can actually put that on everything...i promise, i swear. and get off my back about how i spell my name..
Posted by
Anonymous |
11:56 AM
Seeing as how you seem to be willing to go after anyone, no matter of age or looks, as long as they have cash... Im offended by that remark. It adds to the insult, since I do have a large bank account. And stick to talking with the uneducated trash, if you do not want to hear shit about mispelling your name.
Posted by
wiseguy563 |
3:09 PM
nope, not as long as you don't start spelling your name izabel. im refering to the people who comment on her xanga.
Posted by
wiseguy563 |
3:22 PM
That is pretty rough Cole. Last man on earth and the chicks would play with each other and let the human race vanish rather than endure the required 3 seconds it would take with you.
Posted by
Anonymous |
7:36 AM
Thats pretty damn funny. Cole, you are a pretty sad little peon.
Posted by
Anonymous |
8:09 AM
That is fucking hilarious. And im pretty sure I could make it 10 seconds. I know the first anonymous was dustin, but the second? I don't think anyone I know would call me a sad landless worker???
Posted by
wiseguy563 |
10:56 PM
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Posted by
Anonymous |
9:05 AM
pipe down co-workers. take a chill pill everyone. tracy's gone. let's celebrate!
Posted by
Anonymous |
10:11 AM
Surprisingly, a lot of women don't wash their hands after the rest room. What gets me is when you are in a store with a fairly small restroom...say only three sinks. It is you and another woman in the rest room. If you are an employee of the store or not dressed the same the woman somehow thinks that you want to have conversation with her because she thinks everyone wants to have conversation with her & will look longingly at the sinks & towels but then panic & leave without washing. A new disease???-Restroom adjustment disorder????
I have seen this happen on several occasions at several locations & usually with very wealthy people. Yet another thing that makes me upset about the consumer society.
I have a very weak immune system due to thyroid problems & these are probably the very same people who give me their horrible colds because they are extremely sick but feel frivolous spending of their husband's money is so important. I see this kind of behavior everywhere I go & find it revolting.
Posted by
Andi |
11:48 AM
I remember, a long time back, watching a thing on 60mins or 48hours or something, that did a study on germs in public restrooms. They took swabs from all over the restroom and suprisingly the dirtiest place in the whole restroom was the handle for the sink. Second place was the soap dispenser, and third was the handle on the door. The actual toilet seat didn't score too high on the list. The report also had people swab their hands for germs before and after they went into the bathroom. The first group swabbed did NOT wash their hands after they went. And the second group DID wash their hands. The group that did NOT wash their hands actually had less germs on their hands than the people who DID. Now, I am not a freak about this, but it bothers the shit out of me if I don't wash my hands, so rather than carry around that germ gel stuff, I just use my sink skillz. here's how to keep the germs off in the public restrooms. First, for the chicks, HOVER over the seat, never let your ass touch that seat! Imagine the homeless prostitute that may have used it earlier that week. now, when it comes to washing your hands, grab paper towels first. Make sure to grab at least three sections of towels. Then use the towel to turn the sink on, use the towel to pump out the soap, throw that towel into the trash and then hold the others with your knees. Wash your hands for at least 30 seconds, dry your hands, then use the towels to open the door when you leave. usually the trash can is next to the door, so I swing the door open, hold it open with my foot, and toss the towel in the trashcan. This proccedure is why I HATE using the public restroom, but sometimes, when ya gotta go....
Posted by
AriesBiatch |
2:24 PM
oh yeah, and when you flush, use your foot to flush 'cause feces-covered hands touched that a few mins ago.
Posted by
AriesBiatch |
2:26 PM
I believe that people should be able to say whatever they want, so I do not believe that a person should delete comments from their blog if they do not like that comment. I deleted a comment from aty, but I will repeat what she said about me. She pretty much said fuck you and your a vain mother fucker. she said her life does not revolve around money, and since I am just summarizing her statement, I will not argue that. She pointed out that I tell people how much my clothes cost.
I deleted her comment because of the remarks she said about herself. While I was rightly offended, and that has been confirmed by others, I do not wish to attack her self esteem, or allow her to do so to herself here.
I don't think at this time Im going to reply to any of that, since I know Im pretty fucking harsh, Im gonna leave it how it is. But I will say that I mention the price of my clothes only when asked, or one time when I was accused of shopping at the gap. Don't call me cheap. Yes I am very vain.
Posted by
wiseguy563 |
4:36 PM
Fucking shit aries... telling someone with an obsession with germs all that shit, is like telling someone that is afraid of the dark that the sun is going to go out.
Posted by
wiseguy563 |
4:43 PM
EVERYONE... its been settle...I'm not mad...we've discussed the matter through email. What's done is done...and I'm moving on...
Posted by
Anonymous |
9:02 AM
white people do not iron jeans.
Posted by
wiseguy563 |
2:00 PM
I could've SWORN I commented here...DAMN Cole you're right! I never comment on your blog! HA! But, I do read it, because I've read all these entries.
Posted by
SXYMMA |
2:51 PM
hahah..be scared of germs..but just so you know, being exposed to germs/antigens only makes your immune system stronger.
And I would seriously look into what the antiseptic hand gels do...because they aren't the best pot of gold.
Nice post :D
Posted by
Anostica |
11:19 PM