Mouth of Madness

I know that I haven't updated much or commented on any blogs... But I will start updating and commenting more often now. I am not really planning on writing much today I just wanted to make this short post to share with everyone a claim that I just took. It is not my place to say the name of this restaurant, but I will tell you that everyone has eaten there before. everyone... it does not matter what part of the country you are in...I don't even think you have to be in this country to have eaten there. anyway, a manager called me for a customer claim, and when he told me the description... he got real quite. there was something in the customers tea.... So I made him repeat it. I understood it the second time but just for laughs I asked him to repeat it a third time... here is the description I wrote...... by the way it was analyzed by a doctor...

CUSTOMER WAS DRINKING TEA FROM STORE WHEN WENT TO EMERGENCY ROOM DUE TO NAUSEA. DOCTOR STATED THAT TEA HAD SPERM IN IT.

fucking nasty isn't it. The customer was standing next to the manager when he was talking to me, and the manager kept asking me "do you want to speak to him"..... I was thinking fuck no to myself. Thankfully I never had to talk to the guy. I wonder what this guy did to piss someone off that bad in the first place....

*edit*
I am really bored, so I am going to ramble on about various crap that comes into my head. You may just want to stop reading now. Sam is over at her desk watching gay movies... cheaper by the dozen 2. what a nerd. Speaking of gay movies, I still have not been able to force myself to finish watching Brokeback Mountain. I can watch a bad movie that has great acting, but this is so ridiculously pointless and boring. Let me give you an example.... lets say that two co-workers of ours (no names), that are both in relationships, start messing around with eachother. It is just like watching them. It doesn't matter if it is two men, two women, or a man and a woman. It is boring.

Anyway, I have been doing some blog surfing and have been reading a few blogs that I haven't looked at in awhile. I like going to the blogs of people that update often and write a lot each time. It's shame Carla doesn't update more often, that could kill a lot of time for the rest of us.

I was introduced to a scuba instructor, that is going to certify my wife and I. Apparently he is one of the hardest in town, but he is a friend of my cousin. Atleast I get a discount. More good news.... everyone knows that I don't like drugs anymore, but they have just been legalized in Mexico. Obviously, since I am going there I will have to get myself a sample platter of everything.

I have spent a lot of money in the last week on pets. I want to buy all the materials I need to make an awesome display tank for my biggest snake. The night when I was playing around with my dog in the living room, she cut herself on something. I know Great Danes are large dogs, but I did not know that a living creature had that much blood..... It looked like a murder scene. So we rushed her off to the emergency vet since it was around 2am. That was over three hundred bucks. I called my emergency room nurse friend, and left a serious sounding message on his phone stating that I had murdered my wife and needed to know how to remove blood from carpets. I suppose he likes me better than he does my wife, because the police never showed up.

Do stupid people become smart when they go to heaven???? Pretty random, I know. I was just curious though. I mean there has to be some perks...


I am about to get off of work now to go watch Matt Hughes kick Royce Gracie's ass in the UFC tournament. I will update in the next couple of days to write about some steroid addicted cunt that had the audacity to shake my hand and congratulate me, only to walk out and tell everyone else I cheated him at poker. That will be a long post.....

Everybody likes to inform me of the fact that I have not updated in quite some time. So here is a small little update. I just haven't really had anything to talk about lately, so here is another example of the utter bullshit that comes out of Pat Robertson's mouth. Pat Robertson, that obnoxious televangelist that old people love, says God told him storms and possibly a tsunami will hit America's coastline this year. Oh my fucking lord, you don't say? That is like me saying that I predict that there will be a birthday party with balloons sometime this year, and one of those balloons might get loose and fly away. Just call me Mr. Cleo, I will speak with a jamaican accent. He has said this several times in the last few weeks on his show, (damn right I watch that stuff... its amusing) apparently this going to happen due to all of the sins that we Americans commit. Now call me crazy, but I thought there was some long haired hippie dude that died for our sins? I could have sworn there is a book somewhere that talks about him forgiving our sins, until the end of time arrives and heathens, perhaps like myself, will be punished. But hey, what the hell do I know. I obviously am not smart enough to milk millions of dollars from old people all across the world. I know you Christians have a some code that talks about not chopping a guys head off and shoving his testicles down his neck, I think its thou shalt not kill or something of the sort..... Still, you guys seriously need to get together and come up with a plan to make old Pat vanish. The guy does so much harm to your religion, I think god would make an exception. This is the same guy saying that Ariel Sharon was given a stroke by god for pulling out of gaza, and the same guy that says that American agents should assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. The same guy that started the theory that AIDs is gods punishment for gay men, despite the fact the over 50% of AIDs patients are hetero sexual women.

Now normally when I write about a death that I read about in the news, I write about it because I can make fun of it in some way or another or I just simply find it amusing. Maybe im getting more in touch with my feminine side, due to the fact that I was molested by a mexican female co-worker this past weekend, (Now I know what you women go through) but I just wanted to mention this death, because I found it really sad and disturbing. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12700493/ - This article talks about a mother who drowned while trying to rescue one of her sons. She had swam out and rescued one, and drowned on her attempt to rescue the second, the body of the second child still has not been found.

I don't want to end this post on that sad story though, so I am going to ask this question... Should I sue Isabel for sexual harrassment for brazenly grabbing my package while at work? And people who know my wife, need not run off and tell her this, because I might be
exaggerating. I will let you know if this is an exaggeration after the possible pending litigation is done with.

Good lord I have been busy. Not so much busy as stressed I suppose. I have one more week of school, and I have to take all of my finals... taking test has never been a big deal to me so I consider my self practically done with school as of today. I had to write a ten page report for my religions class. This was assigned the very first day of school, to be turned in on april twenty something. When did I start writing it? The night before it was due.... I got an A+. Same thing in psychology. So not only have I not updated my blog in awhile, but I have not even glanced at anyone elses blogs until the other day. The comments on my last post suggest that I write something about asians, other than the fact that they eat dogs. There is also quite a bit of talk about anal sex, maybe that is the topic I should choose..... Anyway, interesting story about asians and dogs... Notice it did not say eating dogs... I am thinking that it was Dustin who told me this story, but I am not 100% sure. So Dustin's mother was doing work helping refugees, or something of the sort, find homes and learn to get by here in Amarillo. There was an Asian family that she had help set up. One day while she was out grocery shopping, she ran into this Asian family with a cart filled with canned dog food. They seemed to be rather perplexed when asked about what kind of dog they had. They then stated that they were excited to learn that you can by dog meat here in the states, and that they had discovered this particular brand of dog food was rather tasty.... So I don't know how long they had been eating canned dog food prior to this incident, but what I am curious about is how they prepared it. I wonder if they ate it on hamburger buns, or with pasta....

As for the other topic... I was watching a documentary last night with my wife about that HIV scare the porn industry had a little more than a year ago. I could start an intellectual conversation/debate about this, but obviously I was just watching it for the boobies. As such I did not retain intellectual information perveyed in the documentary, just the following disturbing subject. The guy that gave the HIV to those two girls whom he was filming the porn with, gave it to them while performing a double anal scene... I know one asian who is getting excited right about now.... Seriously though, why the hell would anyone want to do a double anal scene. That is just to close to another man than I care to be (apparently jr may go for it though), and why would any girl in the world want that. Sounds painful to me, but whatever floats your boat. I warned you that it was not an intellectual topic...

So I have decided that I am going to Chicago in July instead of June. So you people need to be prepared to cover my shifts damnit. I have been practicing my forgedabodids - forget about it. One last thing, this is another place that I am going with my family this summer, $20,000 for one week. I have to be scuba certified before I leave for this place. There is a personal chef who will make all the margaritas that I can drink... check it out
http://www.casa-angela.com/
http://www.casa-angela.com/more_photos.htm