Thursday, January 11, 2007 

My Medical Affliction

I am reading another book that talks about medical problems that still have unknown causes and such. I then came across the on a particular one, and it occured to me, all of these times I have written strange medical posts.... I never once talked about what was wrong with me. Alopecia Areata... No one knows for sure what causes it, but it is believed to be induced by stress. The doctor told me that it may be genetic since it happened to me in my twenties, but then again, no one really knows. It happened when I came back from boot camp and my father had just died in that wreck. Before I explain what it is, let me say that it was not permanent.... All of my damn hair started falling out. It started as a little bald spot on the back of my head. Then it was four little bald spots on various parts of my head... Eventually I just had patches of hair left. Now this was horribly embarrassing, but the treatment was worse then the affliction. To make my hair grow back, I had to go every three weeks to get a steroid shot and an acid treatment. That is right, acid. They put this shit on my head that would literally melt the flesh off of my head. So for three days following each treatment I would have liquid stuff and flesh dripping off of my head, then after that I would have dry chunks of flesh just falling off. I looked like I had leprosy, and it hurt like a mother fucker. I sincerely hope that it is a genetic thing, even though I am the first, because I want my little brother to get it for all of the shit he gave me.


Here are some pictures that I found on google... It starts out like this, but for me it was little lower on the back of my head.





Here is another




Then it turns into this... I am not sure if it got this bad on me... My hair was a little longer so I could cover it up better except for the two huge spots on the top of my head. When this happens to men, they can just shave their heads bald... But I did not want to.






Or this




Pretty shitty deal huh. Yeah I thought so at the time. Hopefully it never happens again.


While I am posting pictures.... I took a wierd picture of myself in the mirror, because everyone was bitching at me for not letting them take my picture. I have made it my profile picture on myspace. People have made many jokes about it rather in person, email, or on myspace. Anyway, here is the picture, followed by my favorite comment. It was my cousin Matt that left the comment.

"All I can think of is that scene in Silence of the Lambs where the crazy guy is looking into a mirror saying....Oh yeah. I'd fuck me... Then he does the tuck under. "

3:48 PM | |

Tuesday, January 02, 2007 

Illness & a Bar Fight: My New Year's Eve

Knowing full well that I am allergic to avocados, I decided to eat some guacamole anyway. It was on new year's eve and I had not had a bite to eat all day long. I shortly thereafter regretted my lapse in judgement. My mother had called to let us know that she got some champagne for us, so we stopped by her house to grab it and this is when I made the mistake of eating the guacamole. As soon as I got home, it hit me. I started swelling up and wished that I could just shove my arm down my throat to scratch my insides. To make matters worse, I scarfed down a small bowl of chilli and a coke along with that guacamole, and it gave me the most severe heart burn I have ever had. So I am taking a shower to get ready to go out for the night, and I feel like death... I stick my head out of the bathroom door and have the following conversation with my wife....



me: "Babe, can you do me a big favor"? (I sound very sick, just for the record)

her: "Oh yeah baby, just how big is it"?

her: "Let me see it, I will take care of that big problem for you"

me: "No, I really need you to do me a favor"

her: "Of course honey, I would love to help you out"



She then proceeds to grab my crotch...... (she has this surprised look on her face, like what the fuck??)



me: "will you go to the store and get me some rolaids"

her: "oh"



So apparently, when it comes down to life or sex.... I would choose to live. Who would have thought???



It took me about an hour of lying in bed to recover enough for us to go out and celebrate new year's eve. We headed out the door and went to Polk street to meet our friends, and we ended up at Burberries. Amy's sister was there with her boyfriend, which was awkward since she just dumped our friend Hector, whom we were with. So we all headed to the lower level, while her sister stayed upstairs. We were all drinking and playing pool and just having a good ole time. Several of the guys that we were with, including Hector, are mexican. This plays in important role in the story here shortly. Anyway, midnight had come and gone, and around 1am, this fat guy comes by and knocks Hector's full beer off of the pool table and just keeps walking. I had even said something to the guy, but he either ignored me or just didn't hear me, so I informed Hector of who the culprit was. Hector later saw the guy walking back and approached him about the beer. The guy apologized and Hector told him not to worry about it. That fat son of a bitch then went over to his friends and they are started talking shit amongst themselves. After about a half hour of this another of our friends went and approached them, so of course we all followed behind him. They clearly stated that they did not want to fight and that there were no problems. We all started walking away and turned around just in time see our pal Mac throwing a punch... Apparently one of them grabbed his wife. So the fight was on... there were five of us and ten of them. Fortunately only three of them wanted to fight, while the other seven where trying to keep us all separated. Those three guys took their shirts off to show us their KKK and swastika tattoos that they had all over their bodies. They also proceeded to break beer bottles and cue sticks to use as weapons. They informed us (bragged) that two of them had just gotten out of prison and were ready to fight. All my pals informed them that they were marines and ready to go as well. Our wives, being the typical hysterical drunk women that drunk women can be, jumped right into the middle of it all. Rachel trying to stop the fight, and my wife trying to provoke it even more. Unfortunately, my wife started talking shit to the biggest son of a bitch in the building. Seriously he was massive and stood about six feet five inches. He was obviously pissed off at her because it was her that he was trying to get to, not any of us guys. After trying to throw some punches at my wife, he was able to grab her and threw her onto the pool table. Obviously the extensive training that our black belt friend had given her was useless. At this point one of the beast's sober friends picked her up and carried her away. I thanked that guy for this later. Mac and I were both able to get through the people seperating us and pushed this huge guy at the same time.... He barely budged, so I was thinking "this is great". By now the whole bar was in the lower room watching the event, and the bartender got hit in the head with a cue stick meant for me and mac. He ran to call the police. I am not sure what was happening with my other buddies, as they were trying to make it to the other two guys. All I know is they were being held back by a lot of people. So eventually the sober friends of these three pricks were able to drag them outside of the bar, and then came back to apologize profusely to us. Turns out the police arrested those three outside. We went back to playing pool and drinking until the bar closed. The police stayed for the rest of the night and escorted people who were leaving to their cars. So that was my night. One of the funnest new years I have had in awhile. Here is a picture of a couple of us toasting right after midnight. There are pictures on myspace.

3:17 PM | |