Work Blows
Work truly sucks monkey nuts tonight. No offense intended to any monky lovers, I would just view sucking monkey nuts as a very unpleasant prospect, much like working tonight. Aty is gone on maternity leave, which prompted a schedule change, which prompted Isabel to quit, causing me to be stuck here tonight all by myself. I seem to be getting nothing but idiotic callers tonight calling in multiple claims.....
So anyways, since everyone is leaving work it would appear that I must be updating this blog for Sam's pleasure alone.... and all the others who do not comment. Oh well. Not much new to say, though I do leave for Chicago here in a day or two. I got my Uncle to get me a suite at the Marriot for free. Other than arriving there, I am not really sure what my plans are... I will just figure things out as I go. Out of all the places we take claims for the only one that is a restaurant in Chicago is Sweet Tomatoes. So it is still my plan to go there and have them call in a claim for me, but I was thinking.... Instead of telling them that I slipped on urine in the restroom... If I can keep a straight face, I am going to tell them that I got food poisoning from their chicken. I am going to tell them that it caused explosive diarrhea and vomitting, excorsist style. Then the diarrhea got onto my new shoes, because things were so bad that I didn't know what was up from down, while searching for a toilet... Think I can act serious while saying that? I am going to try....
My family has a website so that we can always bullshit and post and blah blah blah. One of my cousins has apparently been in Israel during the last couple of weeks. He was there when the fighting broke out. For those who are completely blind and deaf (Sam), there have been hundreds killed in fighting in the last 17 days. I do not really know for sure what it is that my cousin does... He is a business consultant and as far as I know he does a little of everything. I know he is the biggest penny pincher I have ever met, which is strange considering that he is pretty damn wealthy (He lives next door to the Waltons, of Walmart fame). Anyway, since I do not have much to write about as of now.... Here is what he wrote
"I kept from posting while I was in Israel a couple of weeks ago, as it occurred to me that no one knew I was there except Dad.
Anyway, I'm back now but here's something interesting:
Tuesday- when all of the mess over there really started- I was in Carmiel and Haifa. As an American, I asked the Israeli's if there was anything to be concerned about (you should know that the US department of Transportation has had a standing travel advisory to Americans visiting Israel for the last 7 years). The answer was simply, "no, no, no, a missile has never come this far into the country."
The next day we were in central Israel when a missile hit 300 yards from the building I was standing in the previous day when I asked that question in Carmiel. Every day since then, Haifa has been showered with missiles.
Believe it or not, you guys had more information about what was going on via CNN then I did while I was in the midst of it all. Were it not for the constant calls from family and friends in the states updating us on what was happening we would have never known it.
On Thursday night (the worst day of fighting inside Israel in the last 20 years), my company hosted a party of 400 people including ex-prime minister Peres and several other ex- ministers in the open on the beach on the Mediterranean Sea. Other than the occasional military helicopter flying overhead, it was business as usual.
I guess you view defense a little differently when you've been defending yourselves as far back as history is kept. Needless to say, if Cuba started bombing Miami, I'm not sure the folks in Daytona Beach would continue their normal lives.
Anyway, I guess we can all look forward to higher gas prices- at the very least."
So anyways, since everyone is leaving work it would appear that I must be updating this blog for Sam's pleasure alone.... and all the others who do not comment. Oh well. Not much new to say, though I do leave for Chicago here in a day or two. I got my Uncle to get me a suite at the Marriot for free. Other than arriving there, I am not really sure what my plans are... I will just figure things out as I go. Out of all the places we take claims for the only one that is a restaurant in Chicago is Sweet Tomatoes. So it is still my plan to go there and have them call in a claim for me, but I was thinking.... Instead of telling them that I slipped on urine in the restroom... If I can keep a straight face, I am going to tell them that I got food poisoning from their chicken. I am going to tell them that it caused explosive diarrhea and vomitting, excorsist style. Then the diarrhea got onto my new shoes, because things were so bad that I didn't know what was up from down, while searching for a toilet... Think I can act serious while saying that? I am going to try....
My family has a website so that we can always bullshit and post and blah blah blah. One of my cousins has apparently been in Israel during the last couple of weeks. He was there when the fighting broke out. For those who are completely blind and deaf (Sam), there have been hundreds killed in fighting in the last 17 days. I do not really know for sure what it is that my cousin does... He is a business consultant and as far as I know he does a little of everything. I know he is the biggest penny pincher I have ever met, which is strange considering that he is pretty damn wealthy (He lives next door to the Waltons, of Walmart fame). Anyway, since I do not have much to write about as of now.... Here is what he wrote
"I kept from posting while I was in Israel a couple of weeks ago, as it occurred to me that no one knew I was there except Dad.
Anyway, I'm back now but here's something interesting:
Tuesday- when all of the mess over there really started- I was in Carmiel and Haifa. As an American, I asked the Israeli's if there was anything to be concerned about (you should know that the US department of Transportation has had a standing travel advisory to Americans visiting Israel for the last 7 years). The answer was simply, "no, no, no, a missile has never come this far into the country."
The next day we were in central Israel when a missile hit 300 yards from the building I was standing in the previous day when I asked that question in Carmiel. Every day since then, Haifa has been showered with missiles.
Believe it or not, you guys had more information about what was going on via CNN then I did while I was in the midst of it all. Were it not for the constant calls from family and friends in the states updating us on what was happening we would have never known it.
On Thursday night (the worst day of fighting inside Israel in the last 20 years), my company hosted a party of 400 people including ex-prime minister Peres and several other ex- ministers in the open on the beach on the Mediterranean Sea. Other than the occasional military helicopter flying overhead, it was business as usual.
I guess you view defense a little differently when you've been defending yourselves as far back as history is kept. Needless to say, if Cuba started bombing Miami, I'm not sure the folks in Daytona Beach would continue their normal lives.
Anyway, I guess we can all look forward to higher gas prices- at the very least."
That's upsetting, to say the least. Most of my friends are driving me nuts - all they have to say in response to any of it is "great, now gas prices will get even higher," as if that is the sole consequence of it all.
I'm in Colorado right now. We drove to St. Louis, stayed there for two nights, then drove the rest of the way to CO. And apparently you're going to Chi town! I'm 3 hours from Chicago when I'm at home in Illinois. I actually miss Illinois...we're in the highest town in CO so there is basically NO oxygen and we get out of breath walking to the car.
Have fun in Chicago. Hope your cousin remains safe and sound.
Posted by
Magdalena |
11:22 PM
By the way, in addition to your diarrhea/vomiting tale with which you plan to entertain the staff of Sweet Tomatoes (I feel for them already), you should be sure to get some of Chicago's pizza, as it is what it's famous for.
Posted by
Magdalena |
11:25 PM
Have fun at Sweet Tomatoes. I think you should say that you found a finger in their chili. Oh, that's already been done? OK - how about a cigarette but in their hamburger - or glass in their sundaes....OR worms in their salad. And THAT caused the exorcist style vomiting.
Posted by
SXYMMA |
1:09 PM
hahah..explosive diarrhea and keeping a straight face while saying it..I wish you luck smartass ;)
Posted by
Anostica |
3:37 PM
Your comment was so completely the opposite of uncool. That is so WEIRD that you've been here, to this random little town.
We already got a ticket. :( The speedlimits are insane. 25-35 EVERYWHERE. Jesus.
You're lucky you're 5 hours away. We have sixteen hours of driving between us and our sweet homes.
Posted by
Magdalena |
11:12 AM
Yeah, meant to say 7 hours away.
Posted by
Magdalena |
11:14 AM
cole...i think JR wants what's in your pants.
Posted by
Anonymous |
1:17 PM
i'm sorry i meant, I want in your pants.
Posted by
Anonymous |
8:43 PM
I think what she MEANT to say was she wants in JR's pants.
Posted by
SXYMMA |
8:44 PM
hey hey hey, that's enough with being inside my pants. noone gets into my pants without having an invitation and a vagina. If you don't have either of these you're S.O.L. or just gay.
Posted by
Anonymous |
8:14 AM
From what I hear jr, it does not take much to get an invitation, provided that the second requirement is met.
I need to update, but I don't feel like it. I will do it tommorrow night.
Posted by
wiseguy563 |
7:01 PM
oh yeah...that's right. jr doesn't have anything in his pants.
Posted by
Anonymous |
10:24 AM
are you EVER gonna update?
Posted by
SXYMMA |
5:19 PM